Life after death – true love

What is there to say when you have experienced ‘happily ever after’? When the song is done, the stage is cleared, and the players move to other roles? Raven Bond died peacefully on November 21st; we were married for 27 years, and together in spirit before that and forever after. We were married three times, the first by a civil authority, the second in a magical event where we pledged our vows, and one last time on his death-bed. It is not over. It is not done. Love is forever.

“You must have an amazing life, you hear me?” he wrote in his death letter. It was, appropriately, in a file called ‘death letter’ where I could find it easily. “I will be with you forever, even though I don’t have a body,” he said, and “I feel more for you than words can express.”

I feel the same way. He had the gift of unconditional love, and I found myself the recipient of that regard every day. Does that mean he was a saint? No. He was as gloriously flawed, as full of doubts and baggage as any other. His spirit though? That was as brilliant as a star, as courageous, as full of fire and hope and humor.

It is three months since he left the world of form. The body held the spirit so lightly, it was as if he were tethered by will alone. In the last year, we embraced the moments, one by one. We held hands and watched silly movies. We petted the cats. We invented characters and wrote books. Always together.

I traveled around the world to be with him, from Sydney to Seattle so long ago. We kept traveling towards each other all that long while, finding new countries, new worlds in the intersection of our wonderful romance.

I am surrounded by my friends of the heart, by extended family, and by those who called him friend, love, counselor, healer and teacher. He touched so many lives. Wherever he is traveling now, I’m certain he is being and becoming exactly who he is meant to be.

Raven told me a story about time, about being now. He said that if something happened, and that was now, even if that event was a long time ago, then that now is still Now. It comforts me to think that we are meeting for the first time, at Ancient Ways in the heat of summer in 1987; we are holding each other in the kitchen the morning that he died; we are celebrating life on a beach in Hawaii, and in some when, we are meeting and making love in other bodies. We are entangled, and that’s a good thing. We are now.

It is as if he has stepped into another room, yet his spirit lingers with me in between particles, suspended like motes in the glitter of stars, in reflected sunshine, in a dark obsidian mirror. I wrap his cloak around me; it keeps me warm at night.

Having been touched by true love, having lived within it, the embrace lingers.

We will meet and know each other again.

And yes, my love. I will have an amazing life.




Marriage equality – happiness for my friends

Today, everyone gets the same rights to marriage equality under the law. This is a grand and good thing in my humble opinion – marriage is a contractual arrangement afforded privileges under the law. Inheritance, mutual property arrangements, visitation, changing countries to join one’s spouse, health insurance¬†are only a few of the cases where matters will be simplified. Of course there are some dinosaurs out there who will be irritated that other people can declare and celebrate their love, however, we all know what happened to the dinosaurs – they became extinct, or rather, turned into birds, depending on how you think about it.

Love and spiritual meaning might be at the heart of marriage; certainly, agreement to make a relationship together and live in accord is part of it, however civil union is a contract that should not be limited to only people of opposite gender, in my view. And now in the view of the United States Supreme Court. Marriage codes are mostly about property in any case. Where it comes from, what happens when people die, separate, decide to no longer join their fortunes together. I’ve been thinking about this in terms of writing science fiction. We’ll look back on this as a peculiar time in history, where the color of someone’s skin or the choice of who to love was a cause for social consternation. I guess we’ll look forward and ask “what now?” when society grows up. We seem to be a species who revels in finding some way of saying “those people are not like me” and causing them difficulty based on perceived differences. Better, I feel to become more empathic socially and ask “how are they like me?” Finding common ground will be important when we make first contact, when we live in other cultures, when we meet people who are outside our immediate families. All good story making fodder.

Before the writing, before the stories, before the future, I celebrate today where marriage equality is enshrined in law in the United States. Huzzah.